Conflict
As we all know conflict is handled differently on many different levels. We culturally are naturally different when it comes to conflict resolution. Jackie Chan illustrates this point perfectly in the movie Rush Hour. What I wanted to focus on more directly relates to how you are raised as a child. I think this has more to do with how you resolve conflict that any other external factor. I grew up in a family that didn’t every yell at each other. Yes, we disagreed at times but it rarely got heated. Usually we were able to communicate and figure out a compromise, which was satisfactory on our family. (Wouldn’t have been in a Chinese family.)
My wife’s family on the other hand didn’t communicate effectively at all. They are what I call stuffers, stuffers are people that get so infuriated that in a moment of anger they loose it all. This behavior was very hard for me to adjust to, in our marriage we’ve had to take the time to figure out how we both communicate. I really think it took us 2 years to get the hang of it, not to say that we are perfect now but we understand the process of communication better.
I think on a larger scale it becomes more difficult to resolve conflict outside of ones culture. I becomes essential to understand the persons background and traditions. Once you can create a common understanding then it is possible to communicate. My brother married a Dominican woman, in here family it wasn’t uncommon that the Father would cheat on the Mother. She brought this worry into the relationship and was always accusing my brother of cheating on her. He had to overcome culture and family relationship issues, I’m proud to say he is still married and she no longer accuses him of infidelity!
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